School Adjustment of Children from Divorced Families

The family is the basic unit of society where human beings are brought to life. It is considered a small society where children learn basic virtues. Therefore, the relationship between parents and children is very important for their growth and development. Through this relationship, children gain the virtues of trust, autonomy and initiative. Children also learn about socio-emotional relationships, self-respect and self-control. Thus, family environment and parent behaviour are crucial for children to grow as healthy, happy, and responsible people.Yet, despite the importance of parent support, there are still many children devoid of proper care from their parents resulting from the increasing number of divorces, or separations. In spite of the negative effects caused by divorce on children, the society seems to think divorce is something that can be easily done. Since the early 1990’s, divorce rate in Korea has risen rapidly not withstanding the fact that Korean society has a negative view on the divorce as compared to those in western countries. The influence of Confucianism is still deeply imbedded in Korean culture where family and marriage are supreme for most Koreans.Hence, many children from divorced families encounter deep-seated prejudice as if they have psychological defects. Although this may not be true for every child with divorced parents, some studies have shown that because they are exposed to a series of changes and are more disadvantaged than those who grow up in intact families, their school performance may be poor and they may exhibit antisocial behaviour. For example, children living in single parent families are less likely to have as many economic resources as children living in intact families.Other problems relating to aspects like parenting, education, housework, psychological issues will, as well, rise. Further, children of divorced families have to deal with sorrows from the absence of either their father or mother and that th ey will have to adapt to the change in family system. A study shows that children from divorced parents often become a laughingstock, and develop wrath towards their mother or father. Moreover, some children may find it difficult to focus during class, hence, receive poor academic grades. Childhood experience can have large impact in determining how they might turn out in the future.Parent-child relationship can largely influence children’s personality formation or intellectual development due to the account that children learn by imitating adults. Divorced parents may find more financial responsibility when it comes to parenting thus they may suffer from depression. Kurdek and Hetherrington also mention that single parent tend to raise their children with more rules and restrictions and less attention. Unfortunately, these single parents’ mental, emotional and family disorder difficulties will influence growing children and society at large. Parents’ divorce is a crisis which stirs up the ordinary life of children.For this reason, studies on divorce and its effects on children should be taken seriously. Divorce does not appear to have consistent effects across all children and ages as observed in two children, ages 10 and 11, from divorced families. Thus, this study is limited to elementary school age. It hopes to aid in understanding the behaviour of children from divorced families in school environment by illustrating researcher’s own experience with such children in class. It is related to theories which support their behaviour and possibly suggest ways for parents and educators to contribute to children’s well-being.The structure of this essay is as follows: ? the effects of divorce on children ? the differences between the children of intact and divorced families ? gender differences in the effects of divorce ? school adjustment of children from divorced families ? personal experience with children from divorced familie s The Effects of Divorce on Children Children’s reactions towards divorce can vary. Not only can the fact that the absence of one of the parents influences children but the change of environment after divorce settlement also affects children.They can suffer from psychological, behavioural and social problems. Psychological problems Study shows that children from divorced families have difficulties in adapting to new family environment. They are also likely to develop wrath towards one parent and some of them may even blame themselves for the divorce and show constant nervousness and incompetence. These effects may only be negative for a period of time or for children who have been exposed to parental conflict for a long time and recover rapidly in consequence of the stress released by their family environment.The most influenced psychological part of children of divorced families is that of depression and nervousness. Twenty-five percent of these children suffer from depressi on and fifty percent of them experience emotional turmoil or often appeared to be in despair. Social and behavioural problems Other influences on children from divorced families are external evidence like performance disorder, lack of sense of responsibility and understanding. They develop antisocial behaviour problems, aggressiveness, antagonizing manner and attention deficit in school settings.According to Lee’s research, during two years of their parents’ divorce children show antisocial behaviour and their social ability tend to decline. Children living with mothers exhibit impulsive behaviour, more oppositional and aggressiveness after two months of parents divorce. They also have difficulties in peer relationship and become troublesome at school, and perform lower academic achievement. Some children may seem to have overcome their parents divorce however even these children may have possibility of becoming troublesome when they are confronted with a new challenge and advancement task in school.As different studies have shown, divorce can have negative influence on children’s psychological, social and behavioural problems. Comparison between Children of Divorced and Intact Families Several researchers mention in their findings that children from divorced families differ significantly from children from intact families. Amato and Keith studied 13,000 children from preschool to young adulthood to find out if there are any significant behaviour differences between children of divorce and intact families.Their research indicates that children from divorced families have more problems in school, delinquency in the community, mental health problems and negative self-concepts. Besides differences in their behaviour problems, there is also a difference in economical stature. Children from divorced families are more likely to suffer from economic difficulty. Weitzman reported that woman’s standard of living after divorce falls by 29% th an previous household. And this can lead children to be more distressed in school from constant comparison with other children and receive lower academic achievement.This is because single parents may not have enough time to spend with their children because of their work and a decrease in income can increase frequent residential mobility. Hammaond compared the behaviour of children of divorced families and intact families and he found that boys of divorced families exhibit more behavioural problems than boys from intact families whereas girls show no significant differences. Boys from divorced families seem more distracted in class and exhibit acting out behaviour than boys from intact families do.This implies that in school setting, boys respond more negatively to their parent divorce than girls. The reason could be that in many countries including Korea, children live with their mothers after their parent divorce hence boys react more to absence of their father than girls do. Thi s means losing father’s monitoring homework or playing sports with them and sometimes there are issues they would want to share with their fathers only. From observing a student in class, I notice that sudden loss of affection from a father after divorce can influence school achievement.This is because children suffer from constant distress and tension and they become emotionally unstable. Therefore in comparison with children from intact families, their school grade naturally drops. However, recent studies show that nowadays there is less difference in the behaviour of children from divorced and intact families. This is probably due to the fact that divorce rate is increasing rapidly. Even though the difference is statistically significant, differences are becoming small.In Hetherington’s findings, she found differences between children of divorce and intact families, but she also found that children from intact families exhibit behavioural problems because of constan t parent conflict. She reports that over 90% of children including both genders from intact families are supposedly experiencing average range of problems. Remaining 10% suffer from severe family problem which would require professional help. In terms of children from divorced families, there are 74% of the boys and 66% of the girls in the normal range and remaining boys and girls are considered to have severe behavioural problems.Forty percent of adolescent boys and girls from divorced families have less behavioural problems than those from intact families. More recent studies show that the behaviour of children from divorced families are not much different from children of intact families. Based on experience, children still seem to experience considerable distress about the breakup of their parents and these feelings remain and affect them in some ways. Most of illustrated studies are carried in the West but Korea’s situation is also taken at hand to see if there are any b ehavioural differences in this area. Although H.Kim suggests that divorce is still viewed negatively in Korea, nevertheless her findings in the behaviour of children of divorce in school ages 8 to 13 shows similar effects of divorce on children’s school behaviour, which appear to be similar to that experienced by Western children studied in Amato & Keith’s research in 1991. Korean children from divorced families also exhibit aggressiveness, seek more attention and disobey in school. Gender Differences in the Effects of Divorce Besides behaviour differences among children of divorced and intact families, there are also gender differences to consider.Hyatt suggests that boys and girls react differently to parental divorce. Boys tend to create more behavioural problems in school than girls do. Boys’ self-esteem tends to decline as a result of divorce and they seek constant attention from the teacher and disturb class with irrelevant talks. Their effort in school wo rk also decline. Hyatt mentions that boys are more prone to difficulty of losing contact to their father hence regular communication with the father can help these adjustment problems.Girls’ behaviour in school after parental divorce is not as noticeable as boys because they do not manifest their difficulties by acting out in class. Rather, they tend to become more anxious or unhappy or showing over controlled good behaviour. Another findings concerning gender difference in the effects of divorce is that girls do accept help from their teachers unlike boys. This is because girls see their school as a place where they can be supported during divorce while boys conduct socially unacceptable behaviour.School Behaviour of Children of Divorced Families Human beings grow by constantly adapting to new environment therefore adapting to an environment is part of life cycle. Children’s educational place can be divided into home, school and the society. The child and environment continuously interact and the school takes over large part of a child’s life. Therefore as well as having a settled family life, school period is also important in determining how children might turn out in the future.School is a place where children enjoy, and gain sense of satisfaction by experiencing various activities and maintain harmonized relationships with the teachers and other students. Similarly, school adjustment is defines as taking interest in school environment and feel comfortable being in school with other children. This adjustment reflects on their school achievement and development. For instance, children who enjoy being in school and participate in school activities are likely to gain more educational experiences than those who have adjustment disorder.Liebman defines school adjustment disorder as excessive reaction where individuals are unable to harmonize with the school environment and other students which will prohibit individual development. Children of divorced families are likely to have more difficulties in school adjustment than those of children from intact families. Berbe suggests that children with adjustment disorder tend to attract teacher’s attention by inappropriate questions in class, distract other children and find it hard to pay attention in class. They also refuse teacher’s request and are often disobedient.And if they continue to show irresponsible academic behaviour, it leads to serious adjustment disorder. Heck’s idea is also similar to Berbe’s suggestion that children with adjustment disorder problems are frequently absent and tend to be oppositional in class. However, it is difficult to judge the cause of maladjustment solely on divorce. How children respond to above stress can vary from a child to child. It can differ according to their age, gender or disposition and the environment includes economic stature of parents, social approval rating of parents and family conflict.Variab les are categorized as they may affect children’s school adjustment into demographic differences and family variables. Demographic differences include race, gender, and parental socioeconomic status and family variables include relationships, organisation, control, social support, mother rejection and father rejection. Behaviour of children of divorced in school As mentioned earlier, children from divorced families appear to have difficulty in academic achievement and relationship with other children at school than children from intact families.The cause of this should not be looked at solely on the primary factor which is divorce. Secondary factors are to be considered as well, such as the change in socioeconomic structure and resources after divorce. For example, as mentioned earlier, economic loss, poor parental adjustment, lack of parental competence and parental loss can cause behavioural problems. As mentioned in the section of ‘Comparison between children of divo rce and intact families’, women’s standard of living is reduced by 29 % after divorce and absence of father can have negative influence on children more on boys than girls.Regarding studies on children’s maladjustment behaviour, Liner categorizes disorder behaviour as: ? action-out behaviour like hitting someone and being aggressive ? withdrawing behaviour: very quiet, sucking fingers, restricted behaviour ? defensive behaviour: lying, ignoring ? disorganised behaviour: escaping from reality Similarly, Wickman describes behaviour of children with adjustment disorder as: ? immoral, dishonest, in resistance to authority, stealer, cheater, disobedient, rude and rebellious ? often violates regulation of class, careless, loses interest in study, negligent and trustless? exaggerated and offensive personality ? unsociable, overly sensitive, and liar Based on experience, as a teacher of young children, those from divorced families have lower academic achievement, are so cially isolated, overly sensitive, either humiliate themselves or boast and show negative behaviour in class. Specifically, their academic grade is poorer than it used to be and they do not try to socialize with others in class. Further, they often seem absent-minded and tend to change their mood easily.If they are scolded for not doing their homework or asked to answer something they do not know, they use violent language in response. They also suffer from headache and easily get tired. This behaviour of children can also be explained by Rotter’s theory of locus of control. Locus of control refers to how individuals attribute the cause of their behaviour to internal or external forces. In applying to children of divorced families, children who have internal locus of control believe that if their parents are divorced, it is their fate.Therefore these children are able to handle any difficulties and feel less psychological distress. In contrast, children who have external locu s of control believe that if they do not perform well in school, they tend to blame external factors such as parental divorce rather than blame themselves. Hence, these children are likely to suffer from severe distress than those who have internal locus of control. When elementary school children experience parents’ divorce, they can become aggressive and develop sense fear and sorrow.Some children also imagine reunion of their parents. And they also explain that children’s school behaviour depend on how they are treated at home. As per experience, the relationship between custodial parent and the child seem to have a large impact. Prior research says that the relationship between the behaviour of custodial parents and children’s school adjustment illustrate that the attitude of custodial parents has large influence on children’s school achievement. Mothers’ affection can influence enormously on developing children’s social skills.From moth er-child relationship, children learn responsibility, self-control and social skills, hence, hostile attitude towards children can act as hindrance in developing social skills. Therefore one can learn that the attitude of custodial parent becomes important factor which influence children’s school adjustment. Personal Experience with Children from Divorced Families Case study 1 Two years ago, I was teaching young Korean children ages 8 to 11. Before I started teaching, I was briefly explained about the behaviour of several children by their tutors.A couple of them were from divorced families. I had a difficulty in handling one particular child called J, who was 11 years old at that time. According to his tutor, his parents were divorced recently and as a result, he enrolled in this school. I did not know the reason of his parents’ divorce but his mother was diagnosed with cancer. The tutor was the custodial parent of J. My first impression on J in class was that he was very loud and also it became a routine for him not to do his homework and turn up late in class.He became aggressive and tried to embarrass me by making ridiculous comments when scolded about his behaviour. On one occasion, J had a fight with another boy in class. J actually stabbed this boy with a pencil during break time. Although it was a minor injury, parents of both boys had to be called in and J’s tutor tried to make both boys talk about why it happened. But they did not say a word. Since J’s mother was sick, his grandmother came instead, apologizing for her grandson’s action. Nonetheless, explanation of J’s grandmother helped me to understand his behaviour.J became difficult to control since his parents’ divorce. He was furious with the fact that his father left his sick mother for another woman. His grade from previous school was average but with the change of family environment, he was achieving lower grade. However, considering he was fai rly new to the school, he seemed to socialize with other boys easily and seemed to lead them as well. I have also noticed that when he was not being loud or seeking attention in my class, he would sit absent-minded and continuously shake his leg. Besides being aggressive he was probably feeling insecure as well.In the period immediately following the divorce, J’s mother’s ability to be a good parent probably declined and became more inconsistent in disciplining her son due to her illness. J’s reaction towards his parent’s divorce is all mentioned in past studies by Anthony (1974), Hoyt et al. (1990), Kurdekrikberg (1987), Liner (1976), Wickman (1987) where action-out behaviour was most apparent in his behaviour when he had stabbed a boy with a pencil and his reaction also showed that he was very aggressive, as Lee (1993) suggested that children of divorce can become aggressive.J’s behaviour of making comments in class also shares Hyatt (1999)â€⠄¢s findings of making irrelevant comments in class. J had also developed anger towards his father because he had left his mother when she was sick and Kurdekriberg (1987) mentioned that some children may develop wrath towards one parent after divorce. As illustrated in Lee (1993), Kurdekriberg (1987) and Weitzman (1985)’s study, J’s academic grade declined and exhibited withdrawing behaviour (1976) such as shaking his leg in class.He was also spotted lost in thoughts in class sitting completely absent-minded and this can refer to what Liner (1976) called disorganized behaviour that J probably wanted to escape from this painful reality of his. Case study 2 Another child called B, age 10, in my class, also experienced parents divorce. I got to know B’s background through a homework I assigned in class. Unlike J, her parents were divorced when B had just turned 5 and at that time, none of her parents were willing to look after her. Therefore she was left under the care of her grandparents in her mother’s side for a few years.And then, she joined her mother at the age of 9 who was by then re-married and had children of their own. Being with her mother’s also meant moving to another school, hence everything was new to her. Despite the change of the environment, she seemed to have adjusted herself well in school life. She had her own circle of friends and she was also active and lively during class and there was not much change in her school grade. I also noticed her suck fingers during class. One day, I assigned the whole class to write about their parents because it was soon to be Parents’ Day in Korea.Surprisingly, B did not do her home. To be exact, she actually refused to do it because she said there was nothing to talk about and as she was saying this, she was almost in tears. Then she explained her family background and she was ashamed of it. She mentioned that her mother and stepfather hardly gave her any affection and treated her as a burden, hence in order to avoid them, B spent most of her time in her room when she was home. For B, the school was some kind of a safe zone and because of her positive attitude in class, I never thought that she was unhappy at home.In my opinion, B was putting all her energy into school life to forget about troubles at home. It was obvious that B had the most difficulty in adapting to step-parenting and remarriage and what made it worse was that she hardly knew her mother either. So confronting her mother and step father was a great distress for B. Unlike J, B’s behaviour was not very noticeable in school. It seems that in B’s case, her difficult situation acted as a driving force to concentrate in her school life.This is because she had hardly any affection from her mother that she probably had with her teachers and friends, whom she can trust and rely on as it is mentioned in Goldman, Rosenzweig & Lutter (1980) that girls from divorced families tend to see school as a supporting place. Both J and B suffered from painful memories and feelings of helplessness but how they reacted to the situation differed extremely although they both showed what Liner (1976) called sign of withdrawing behaviour: shaking leg and sucking fingers.There could be many factors which caused these differences. For example, J and B’s age difference, their gender and economic stature of their parents. Since J’s mother had an illness, they probably suffered severely from economic loss in comparison with B’s situation. And the fact that B’s parents were divorced years before J’s parents, could be another reason which caused adjustment difference in school. Last but not the least, attitude of custodial parent could be another reason.Although J’s behaviour problem seemed more serious than B’s, J probably had more attention from his mother where as in B’s case, she was not suffering from the fact that her parents were divorced but suffered from trying to adapt herself to step-parenting and remarriage. From J’s and B’s cases, it is evident that their behaviours were strongly influenced by family variables. Although J received much affection from his mother, he probably felt rejected from his father and B felt rejected from his mother. Although they were both influenced by family variables, J’s reaction was much more noticeable than B.Boys create more behavioural problems than girls, hence the influence of gender differences is also apparent in this study which is known as a demographic difference. It is clear that both J and B need support from educators. Although B is able to cope with this new challenge of living with a mother who she does not know well and adapting to step-parenting by herself, without professional help, it may trigger problems in her adolescence. It is the same for J’s case. If he does not receive appropriate help form educators, h e is likely to continue with delinquent behaviour or associate with antisocial friends in the future.Therefore it is vital that they are supported with affection so that they grow into a reasonably competent person. Conclusions This paper studies the behaviour of children from divorced families by studying the prospective relationship demonstrated and certain family experiences and school adjustment of two children I taught in Korea. Although past studies show that children from divorced families are in danger for developing negative behaviour and experience academic decline, due to increasing rate of divorce, the differences in the behaviour of children of divorced and children from intact families are getting smaller.It may be that children from divorced families are having difficulties, these are not as important as the factors that cause these differences. What I learn from these two children is that being a party to their parents’ divorce is a very difficult transition f or their age. There are many factors which may cause children’s school adjustment disorder and student J and B responded differently, owing to gender differences and new family situations. Therefore, children from divorced families, including J & B, should receive appropriate support both from parents and educators until they adjust to their new living arrangements.This will help them develop intellectually and socially in the same way as their peers from intact families do. Not only the support of parents is needed but teachers need to become more aware of children’s feelings in class. I, for one, am being considerate to children from divorced families in assigning homework such as writing letter to parents. Discussing different family situations, including single parenting and remarriage, will help children of intact families develop more awareness and respect towards children of divorced.Teachers can also spend more time with children from divorced families to under stand their feelings and perhaps suggest advice if necessary. This personal attention can help children to reduce any negative behaviour which children may exhibit as a result of parent divorce. In summary, on the basis of the findings of this study, it is suggested that educators should consider any factor that may influence children’s behaviour and conduct appropriate program in order to help them.